When you’re getting over a breakup, life can feel upside down. The longer you were with your ex, the longer you will probably feel like you’re living a different life. And if you were a really close couple, getting over a breakup can be even harder, sometimes to the point that you feel like it’s not worth getting out of bed in the morning.
When your life changes drastically as it does when a relationship ends, everything can feel a bit surreal. You’re used to a person being near you a lot, and suddenly that person is nowhere to be found. It’s common to have this painful sense of missing something vital, just from having your ex suddenly absent from your life.
And painful or upsetting memories seem to be everywhere. You sat on that couch together and watched movies. He fixed the lamp in your bedroom that you use every night. You went to that restaurant with your friends every couple of weeks.
If you have mutual friends, the pain can often be even worse because you know they’re close to both of you, and the group you used to hang out with has now been splintered by the breakup.
Often, because of these types of things, a person getting over a breakup will make more drastic changes in an attempt to make the other changes feel better. You might stop going to familiar places that you used to frequent with your ex. You might avoid his favorite foods.
Some people even sleep on the couch or in another bed for a while because the memories in their own bed are too painful. These kinds of feelings are normal and the feelings you have when avoiding those types of things can make things feel easier for a while.
But if you just keep living your life as you always had, eventually the things that you really do need to change will become apparent. These things can be as small as putting away a picture of the two you, moving it to a location where you won’t see it as much, or maybe adjusting your circle of friends.
It’s important to continue to live your life when getting over a breakup. And while it’s perfectly natural to not want to spend a lot of time in a place where you spent lots of time as a couple, the sooner you can go there and learn to enjoy it on your own or with other people, the better off you’ll be.
If you make too many drastic changes now, you can end up feeling even worse about things. You can make your life unrecognizable from the way it was before, which is jarring and not necessarily healthy, no matter how it seems at the time.
Changing too many things is a form of denial. So when getting over a breakup, try to keep your schedule and your habits the same as they were before and soon you’ll recognize the changes that really will benefit you.